One of the big questions that came up this last Sunday morning during a junior-senior girls small group discussion that I was a part of was…”Does God have one specific person picked out for you to marry, or should we just be focused on the type of person that God wants us to marry?” What a provocative question for teenagers to already be thinking about and discussing. I was so proud of the way my girls handled and answered the question…and how the adult leaders listened and offered biblical counsel to the girls. Here’s my two cents on the question…
So does God have a specific person picked out who we’re supposed to find and marry, or does He want us to marry a specific type of person spelled out in Scripture? In other words…am I looking for my soul-mate or are there many who will fit into our marriage qualifications?
Well, first I have to admit that I believe in an all-sovereign, an all-ruling, an all-reigning, an all-controlling, and an all-planning God. And by that you might be thinking…”so Chip does believe in a one person soul-mate that God has designed just for us!” Well, not so fast. It’s not quite that easy. On one hand, I believe the person who thinks that there is just one specifically special person for everyone will experience a lot of fear in pre-marriage relationships. I think they will constantly be sizing up their boyfriend/girlfriend as to what they feel God is telling them to do, if God really brought them together, etc. The burden can ultimately be left up to feelings, emotions, mysticism, etc. But at the same time, there can be some rest in this just knowing that God is ultimately in total control and that He does have a plan.
Honestly, I think its better to look at all this as “what is the type of person laid out in Scripture that I am called to marry?” Continue reading